I don’t have the strength to live with my elderly mother… Where can I take her? What should I do? Why should I take care of her needs?

“I feel overwhelmed living with my elderly mother… Where can I find a suitable place for her? What steps should I take? Why am I responsible for her well-being?” said the woman


I can’t live with my elderly mother anymore. I never thought it would become such a big problem for me, but I just can’t stand being around her anymore.

We are two children in the family. My older brother and I. My mother was quite old, 42 years old when my brother and I were born. However, it did not have any impact on our health or education.

Certainly, we could feel that our mom was getting older; she faced difficulties in many matters, but my brother and I lacked nothing, and we had no reason to complain. My father passed away when I was 17 years old. It was a heavy blow for all of us, but thanks to the strength of my mother, we were able to carry on and live our own lives.

After graduating from university, my brother received a job offer in the United States and moved there, while I stayed in our homeland. Now my mother is 79 years old, and she requires round-the-clock care. She forgets to turn off the iron or the gas, even though I have asked her several times not to do anything like that.

My mother goes to the kitchen early in the morning and starts cooking something. The food gets half-burnt, she adds sugar instead of salt, and puts dirty plates away in the cupboard. She forgets everything. A few days ago, I got so scared when she went to the store alone and forgot the way back.

I don’t know what might happen to her in the next second, and living like this is incredibly difficult. I work and want to relax at night, but instead, I’m on edge all day long. My brother refuses to help and offers no solutions. I’m losing my patience, and I don’t know what to do. As challenging as it may be for me to make this decision, it seems that the best course of action would be to place her in a nursing home where she can receive round-the-clock care. This way, I can finally start living my own life instead of being responsible for someone else’s life.

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